


The Return of the Child

by Glorfindel



Category: Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: AU, Death of child, Extreme angst, M/M, Tissues, joy, re-embodiment, relief.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-21
Updated: 2011-06-21
Packaged: 2017-10-20 15:18:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/214149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glorfindel/pseuds/Glorfindel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ereolas/Oropher and Cirdan are kings in Valinor, having left Middle-earth after the Ring War.</p><p>They both hope to see their daughter, Jeli, who died in Middle-earth the day after her third birthday.</p><p>However, it may be that she has chosen not to be their daughter, but Feanor, whom she used to be before being reborn in the Third Age. It is according to the choice she makes whether Ereolas and Cirdan see her again.</p><p>Who will she decide to be?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Return of the Child

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the Melpomaen the Elfling universe.

 

 

 

Ereolas/Oropher’s POV

 

 

I was so angry at the Valar that I left the journey from Middle-earth to Valinor as late as I could. It was only when Cirdan told me that he was weary and needed to go home, that I agreed to make the journey. We alighted from the last ship and there were cries among the crowd that Oropher had returned. I smiled politely and then looked for the one person I hoped to see. How my heart broke when she was nowhere to be seen. I wondered why I came.

 

 

Walking down the gangplank, I saw my brother Melpomaen, and his husband Glorfindel, standing over to one side. How good it was to see them and my heart sang that we were reunited once again. Still, my attention was not complete; a piece of me looked and scanned the crowds in a vain hope that my little daughter might be trying to make her way through the throng to meet her adas, but it was not to be.

 

 

Cirdan put his arms around my shoulders. “Do not give up hope,” he whispered in my ear. “Maybe one day.”

 

 

“I fear it will be never,” I said softly, so only he could hear my pain. In reality, we both felt the same pain and did not dare hope because the inevitable disappointment would add yet another hammer blow to the anguish in our hearts.

 

 

I remember when our daughter was born. She was Ereodan’s twin and as soon as she opened her sleepy eyes she shouted, “Ada!” held her arms up to me, then asked me to call her Jeli.

 

 

“As in the dessert?” I asked, thinking that I was most amusing. She nodded that I was wrong and so I asked her what her proposed name meant.

 

 

“I don’t know,” she replied with a little twinkle sparkling in her beautiful blue eyes. “I just like the sound of it.

 

 

Cirdan laughed and said that it solved the problem of a name for her and she grinned at him. “Thankyou,” she said most sweetly.

 

 

What Ada does not fall in love with his daughter when he first looks upon her baby face? Cirdan and I were no exception. We adored her. We adored all our children but she completely melted our hearts. When she was unborn and still in my belly we feared that she would be awful when born, as some of her humour and language was very coarse indeed. I cannot remember how often we threatened to give her and her twin Ereodan to the woodcutters before they were born. However, after her birth she was a sweet little girly elfling and her brother was very well behaved and a pleasure to be with. Cireolas did not behave himself as well as they did and we put it down to him not being a reborn elfling. He was learning for the first time, what they already knew.

 

 

It was during their presentation to the Valar, that Cirdan and I were told by Nienna, that Jeli would not be with us forever. She said that her fëa would be required to make the choice one day, of who to be; our daughter or the fiery High King she once was; to do that her fëa would have to be removed from her body.

 

 

“Please do not hurt her,” I said through my tears. Cirdan was speechless and held onto me, his heart broken with grief for what was to come.

 

 

How we held ourselves, I do not know and when they came back down from the sky after being blessed by the Valar we did not seek to dampen their laughter and giggles by showing them anything but happy faces.

 

 

Cirdan and I talked and reasoned with each other that it may not be for years yet and that we had no indication when she would be taken from us. I do not know if she ever remembered who she once was because she never talked about her former life and I did not want her to be anyone other than my sweet little iell, so I was happy that she said nothing and desperately hoped that we had many years together before she would be gone.

 

 

It was the morning, after the happiness of her third birthday, that I walked into the bedroom she shared with her two brothers and found her lifeless and cold. My heart shattered and has never completely rebuilt since then. Her black curls framed her perfect face and her lips were still pink, but she was dead and nothing we could do would reverse this. Neither of us expected her end to be so swift and I cursed the Valar for all the iniquities they had heaped upon our heads over the years; surely, this was the worst. I saw Cirdan cry for the first time in many years when he hurried to my side after hearing my distress. He picked her up and held her close telling her that he loved her and would always do so. I sobbed so hard that everything became a blur. My heart hurt with the torment of her loss; I loved her so much and now she was gone.

 

 

We held on to her for the next hour whilst the nanny took our two elflings away to wash them and answer their questions. We heard them being told through the bathroom door. She told them so gently and so nicely. She said that the Valar loved her so much that they had taken her to live with them and that they would see her again when they sailed.

 

 

“But I didn’t know she was going,” Little Ereodan said to her.

 

 

“Neither did I,” Cireolas said, and I could tell they were both crying.

 

 

“Nobody knew she was going,” I told them both when they kissed her. It was so painful watching them say goodbye. After a couple of hours, we were told that all was ready for us in The Hall of Thrones and before leaving her bedroom, I cut several locks of her hair at Cirdan’s bidding and put them aside to be put into lockets as remembrances for those who loved her.

 

 

We proceeded to the Hall of Thrones and Cirdan placed our iell in her tiny white coffin, which had been hurriedly made by the carpenter and inlaid and padded with white silks by the court seamstresses. Garlands of tiny white flowers and dark greenery surrounded the platform of the catafalque where her coffin lay, white and pink ribbons hung from the sides and I noticed that they had little teddies embroidered on them. She wore the dress that Cirdan and I gave her for her birthday and the tiny lace shoes studded with golden flowers that she chose herself. Four warriors, two at each end and two by either side stood facing away from her, in full ceremonial dress. I do not know how we were able to carry on through that. The worst moment came when Cirdan tucked her little teddy beside her and the lid was put on. She had lain in state for the rest of the day and the one after. Thranduil and Merilnis had arrived by eagle and now it was the evening and time to put her to rest.

 

 

We buried her in our private garden, under the apple tree, the one that she said she would climb when she was big enough. We stood throughout the ceremony as the representatives of the Valar offered prayers for her fëa. My Adas stood either side of Cirdan and me, their arms linked through ours so that we could stand and maintain our position. She was lowered into the ground and a slab of marble was placed over the top with her name on; the dates of her birth and death already inscribed. The stonemason later carved a sweet likeness of her face at the bottom, which we drew comfort from every evening when we visited her to say good night, before we went to sleep. She could not hear us but we thought that at least the Valar would know the value of what they had taken from us and how much we still loved her.

 

 

Still, that was many years ago. My two elflings grew into two strong elves. At no time could I allow myself to be anything but there for them, as we all knew the pain of loss and I could not bear for them to go through it again. Cirdan and I agreed that any thoughts of sailing early or even of fading were not to be entertained. Not that I would have sailed early anyway after all the grievous insults the Valar had dealt us over the years.

 

 

o0o0o0o0o0o

 

 

“We have split Valinor into seven parts. Five of them are to be ruled by kings and one is to be ruled by a queen. All of you have proved your ability to rule and the seventh part is to be retained by the Valar. Although we hold ultimate rule over everywhere, how you run your kingdom is your own business.” Lord Manwë told Cirdan and me, as we walked by the sea with him at his bidding. “You and Cirdan were originally going to be rulers of your own kingdoms but as you have proved very successful in jointly ruling the one on Middle-earth we altered our plans somewhat.”

 

 

We said very little as both felt that here was immortality, without any change, or even hope. Lord Manwë continued, “You must understand that we had to do the things to you both, that we did, so that Eru’s song could be fulfilled. I recognise that we have hurt you deeply and wounded your hearts so badly that you carry an eternal grief around with you but that will pass, I assure you.”

 

 

The Lord of Airs was greeted with disbelieving looks from both of us. He raised his arm and out of the living rock, rose a huge castle the same as the one we left in Middle-earth. It was all rather sedate, no flying shards of displaced rock or noise, it just rose majestically, as if it had been waiting to make an appearance and was already built. “This is where you will both rule from,” he said and smiled. “Everything is as it was. We have left a small present in your rooms for you as an apology for how we were forced to treat you. May I say that I do not always agree with Eru’s edicts but I would never dare disobey them.” He waved his hand. “Go now. Go and explore.”

 

 

We walked to the castle. “I wonder what the present is, a welcome box of fruit perhaps,” Cirdan said cynically. “Did you notice that he never apologised for the cruelties caused to you by his own temper?”

 

 

“Yes, I did, but we have received all the apologies we are ever going to get out of him,” I replied wearily. We walked some more to the bridge over the moat. “I think the present will be wine and chocolates, with a little card saying – Welcome to your new home, Hugs the Valar xxx,” I said with a bitter laugh and watched as the drawbridge raised up so that we could enter.

 

 

Everything inside was as we had left it, but empty. All the furniture was the same, as was the decoration. “How can they be so callous?” Cirdan asked in disgust. “We are supposed to be making a new start and then they do this to us. What sort of sick bastards are they?”

 

I was weary of the Valar and their tricks and needed to rest. “Come on meleth,” I said taking my husband’s arm. “Let us go and see our rooms, it is not as though we do not know where they are.”

 

 

We walked into our bedroom, sat down on the bed, and held one another. There was nothing to indicate any present, certainly not that anything would undo the years of injustice the Valar had put us through. I just wondered why Lord Manwë had lied, that was all.

 

 

We were disillusioned and disheartened; we said nothing. My lips reached Cirdan’s and we kissed, “I love you what ever the future holds,” I told him and he said the same to me.

 

 

“Ada, look.” A happy voice from behind me announced. “I know I wore this dress yesterday but I want to wear it again today.”

 

 

Jeli tugged at my sleeve and I looked at her with a stunned face. She jumped up onto my lap and touched my cheek with her tiny fingers. I held her tight, not daring to believe she was real. “Ada why are you crying, have you hurt yourself?” The dear, sweet child sat on my knee unaware of the years of grief. I so wanted to cry my joy to the firmament and broadcast the easing of the pain in our hearts to the whole of the island.

 

 

“How old are you today?” Cirdan asked and squeezed her little toes trying to smile in spite of his watering eyes.

 

 

“I am three, Ada,” she said happily and held her fingers up to him. “Look three fingers means three years.” Cirdan leant over, kissed her cheek and told her that he loved her. He took her off me and held her in his arms and laughed as the tears fell down his cheeks.

 

 

We were having the conversation that we should have had with her all those years ago and I later found out that she had no knowledge of ever having been away. She was taken back by the Valar, to decide whether she wanted to be our little iell and live with us, or live as Fëanor again. She chose us and Fëanor does not exist now, nor will he ever do so. Jeli is our iell and we have her forever and ever.

 

 

She was the Valar’s gift and now everything is all right with our lives. Our hearts are healed and she is in wonder that everything has changed. Because she is so little, she does not fully understand and thinks that she went to sleep for a very long time. Needless to say, my family are overjoyed, as are her brothers. Ereodan/Ereinion rules the kingdom adjacent to ours and we are to journey there in two days. I am looking forward to meeting him again and introducing his twin sister to him, we will travel to see Cireolas afterwards as he lives in King Elrond’s realm with Elrohir. Elrond tried his best to remain a Lord but the Valar would not hear of it. Watching Ereodan presenting his baby sister to the court and announcing that she is his twin should be a lot of fun, I cannot wait!

 

 

So that is how our hearts were mended and how the insults heaped upon us by the Valar throughout the years we lived in Middle-earth were resolved and forgotten. We set off in two days time but for now we are enjoying being with Jeli. Erestor and Legolas have made much fuss of her and Mel, who lives here with Glorfindel, has promised to make her a kite.

 

 

Jeli awoke this morning, tore joyfully into our bedroom at some unearthly hour of the morning, and climbed in between the two of us. “Wake up adas,” she shouted as her fingers prodded us. “It is a lovely morning and we could go swimming in the sea.” I put my arm around her and Cirdan tickled her belly making her screech with laughter. “I know,” she giggled excitedly. “We could have a picnic then we could do handstands against the big apple tree.”

 

 

All the sadness has gone and we have allowed joy back into our lives.

 

 

May it never leave.

 

 


End file.
